Relaxing can be quite exhausting.

So now it’s exactly one week until my flight to Auckland, NZ. My first flight ever. My first time at an airport ever. First time away from my family for such a long time (well, alright, three months isn’t that long, but still). First time that far away from Germany. But I’m actually quite glad about that. Germany is not that bad, but it does have some disadvantages (I admit that every country does) and I really hope that I cannot find them in Aotearoa.
But most of all, I’m scared. I try to neither show that to anyone, including myself, nor let it prevent anticipation. After all, it is the land of my dreams – or I’ll at least find out if it is -, and there isn’t anything to be really scared of. Is there?
So, today I’ve been to Cologne with my parents and I finally bought some presents for my host families. Hope they’ll like it. Of course I won’t write down what it is. They could find out… 😉
And tomorrow I’ll throw a farewell party. If only the people are coming who’ve promised to come until now, it will be a sweet little party with seven people. If everybody came who hasn’t answered my mail until now, which is unlikely, we would be 16 people. I doubt it. But still.
Concerning the fatal title – who knows what an esteemed reader may think about me now: Right now, time is fleeting. I don’t know what I’m doing all day long, but I am not hanging around all the time (there is still a lot to do before leaving Germany). Although I have to say that relaxing still is very important. And difficult. One could be seen as lazy although he’s only trying to recover. The constant inner (or outer) fight (you’re lazy vs. you need that now) can be exhausting. So much for that.
Hope the party will be a nice one. Hope everything will be alright.
I have to repeat to myself: This is exactly what you were dreaming of doing: not just wanting it, but doing it. Not just enjoying the thought of something but enjoying the experience itself. I am now taking my life in my own hands. That’s what you call living. Really living.

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