I Should Keep Writing.

Excuse the everchanging look of my blog, I’m trying to turn it into a website, but it doesn’t work out quick enough, so I lose track before finishing anything.
Well, I’m back now, and it feels…. I don’t know. Strange. The first thing I noticed when on my way “home”: My family hasn’t changed at all, and all the little quirks and habitudes seemed stronger and more challenging to me the moment I was confronted with them again.
The second thing I noticed was that we still have our old car and that it’s not really safe at all: about five hundred metres before home it started to make weird sounds, and I was scared that maybe a tire would fall off or explode. And when we reached the garage and my father tried to switch it on again, it didn’t work. At all. Nothing. Rien de rien. So much for that. We were really lucky (or whatever else you want to call it).
Another thing I really enjoyed having back: the toilet paper. May sound weird, but it’s just not the same to have some of the consistency of a newspaper when you could have soft, thick, nice toilet paper!
Anyway, I don’t want to go deeper into that topic.
I should also mention the language. It was so strange when people were talking German all around me. I still catch myself expecting other people, children etc., to speak English. And when I imagine a conversation with somebody, I imagine it in English. I’ve been dreaming in English the other night. It’s weird. I kind of enjoy it, though, because it shows me that I really am and have been deep into the language. And I understand people. I’ve been talking to an Irishman lately, and I understood everything! πŸ˜€
Things have changed quite a bit. I feel seperated in a way. On the other hand I feel more… connected. Part of the world. Things here, everyday-holiday-life, have catched up with me fast, but still I realise how I’ve changed, all the time, and I’m not less afraid of getting really caught up in everyday-life. I enjoy that, on the other hand I’m not sure how it’s going to be when school starts and I have to study hard and everything. But for this time the Manaaki is in my head: Respect yourself, be the best you can be. I would feel disappointed if I couldn’t be the best I can be. At school, too. And at the same time I have a bit of imperturbability; I know that everything is relative, I know that compared to other things it’s not important at all.

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6 thoughts on “I Should Keep Writing.

  1. Well, we thougth (at least sometimes before you were back) you might have changed completely!
    But you have not! πŸ˜› In some way you are just still the same! (It sometimes seems as if you haven’t been away at all.)

    I think which has changed most about you is your views of life and your attitude. (But I’m not sure about that.)

    (The second point is your clothes. πŸ˜‰ )

    • Was I really that different on skype etc.? Yikes!
      Yes, that’s something I’ve learned, I guess. No matter how much you change, you will still be your very self. And by changing this may even come out clearer, be crystallised in a way.
      And do you think my changes are rather good and positive (to watch) or not? Or just neither good nor bad?

    • Yaay πŸ™‚ That’s good. I was rather worried that you guys wouldn’t be able to adapt to myself, in a way. But it seems alright, doesn’t it…

    • Yeah, kind of. But only if you have the money… Cruel world. Capitalistic world. Screw all the people who make money at the expense of others. 😦

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