Luck, Happiness and some free Days

Every now and then, I guess, I just have to be unhappy and depressed. It’s in my nature, in a way, and that’s alright.
And on the other hand, every now and then I’m just very happy and filled up with all the incredible beauty all around me and luck I have. It’s funny how you sometimes just forget how lucky you are, and then all of a sudden it’s there again, this knowledge. This knowing that you are one blessed person.
These days have been both extremely happy and a bit fearful and depressing. On the one hand there’s the almost inevitable not-happening of my movie being shot or at least practised for. I knew it would be frustrating, but that doesn’t make it better.
What makes it better, however, is the wonderful kind of fortune that I feel has prevented me from taking every chance to somehow still do something for it. These days my family has been on vacation and I’ve stayed at home only to reanimate the feeling I’ve had in NZ, the feeling of being free.
I’ve given a piano lesson, of course, but that’s been the only commitment for six days. The other days I’ve read books, I’ve strolled through the forest, I’ve met friends, had wonderful conversations, I’ve been partying, dancing, had fun, and just enjoyed life. It was just so great. That’s the way I want this summer to be like: Almost like a personal hippie revival, like my own private Born to be Wild or something. I just love my friends and I think this will be one great summer.
And finally I feel so grateful for my family who wasn’t angry that I broke a window… Well it was a small window. And I put some cardboard over it. But I actually locked myself out and in order to come back in I wanted to fetch the key through the window but when I tried to push it in it broke. It sounds stupid! But anyway. I’m just happy they’re not angry, I mean, how lucky are you when you tell them and they’re just laughing and saying “we’re just happy that you’re alright and that the house didn’t burn down or anything.”
How lucky am I, ay? 🙂

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